BRIAN FINKELSTEIN

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If I was a writer on The Office, I would’ve been fired for overusing “that’s what she said” as a tag to every singl… https://t.co/jvuL0pjlZk about 50 minutes ago
pro tip: If you do that thing where you ask other people about them instead of just talking about yourself, it may… https://t.co/97UALSqVdP about 2 days ago
The best part of having dinner with another couple is the ride home when you just talk non stop shit about people you genuinely like . about 3 days ago
At least once a day, for the past 25+ years, I will say out loud (to no one, about nothing specific) "This is all bullshit." about 3 days ago
@JLWforever And I meant it! about 5 days ago in reply to JLWforever
"You look happy!" is what someone says to you when they're surprised that you haven't killed yourself yet. about 6 days ago
@frank_traynor 👎 about 1 week ago in reply to frank_traynor
Sacha Baron Cohen’s Kanye-West-make-up was amazing. about 1 week ago
The dumbest thing about being married is that sometimes it forces you to defend your idiotic family. about 1 week ago
Be the chaos you wish to see in the world. about 1 week ago